Saturday, December 27, 2008

Nazi Of Rawson Pde Leura

Good day. I have some news. It is news in the form of a warning story!!!

I had a big fight with a woman in our street yesterday. I am normally really quiet and polite to people I've never met, so it was weird....I was yelling down the street as we walked away "get a life you sour old sod!!!!" and whatnot. Its this lady that i've seen walking her dog a lot and sometimes when me and dad are on the balcony she walks passed and dad always says to me "there is something wrong with that woman" and things like that. And I always used to say "you don't even know just see her walking her can you judge her." But at that point I didn't realize that she was the nazi who won't let anyone park on the street. I just thought he was saying that coz she seems like a bit of a control freak coz of the way she doesn't stop telling her dog off.

So Me and Rhys and Lol were driving back from the shops yesterday and there was this white car behind us....and the woman driving it was right up our bum and Rhys was saying "geeez! should I open up the boot and let her in!!!" And so we parked across the street on the nature strip and we got out of the car and she had already parked in her driveway and come up and walked up the street to our car and she attacked us. She said really rudely "Excuse me do you mind not parking your car here" And I looked up and said "oh umm sorry, but there isn't really any parking anywhere else" and she said "no excuse me you can park in your driveway" and I said "we are guests, my mum has to leave all through the day in her car so we don't want to block her"

And the woman said "well that is what you'll have to'll move your car everytime she needs to go somewhere" and we kind of laughed in disbelief" and I said "why aren't we allowed to park here? this is council is the nature strip...not you property" which she kept calling it....and she pointed at me and got really mad and walked right up into my face and started saying "Excuse me.....this is my property and I have to mow wouldn't know anything about maintaining a property....see this is the don't own a house" and she didn't know that!!! But even so thta is just an observation on the fact we are young and if we havn't owned a house we still know what is involved.....and we know our facts on what is council property and what isn't. So I said "no look it is council property and there simply isn't anywhere else to park so we will be parking here." And she said "fine, but if you come out here tomorrow and your car is scratched and bumped...well too bad because I have to mow" and Rhys got really pissed off and said "are you kidding me??? love that is your problem if you do thta and you will pay....look love you can't go threatening people like that"...."I wasn't threatening I was just asking politely"....."I don't think so....more like telling....demanding"

And I said "why do you even have to mow up here?" I was looking at the grass in disbelief coz it looked like it had just been mowed anyway!!! and she said "Excuse me....excuse me!!!" and was looking at me like i was the rudest KID in the whole world..."I have to do it so that it looks a bit nicer...not that YOU would know anything about have no idea what it is like to own a house" And I looked at her actaul property which is a house built on swamp land so it is a complete mess...and I said "well no offence but i'd start down is don't look like you've ever weeded!!!" But she continued to say that we had to remove our car and Rhys had started to walk away rolling his eyes (meanwhile I am still in a very confronting face to face position with this lady) and he said "well it'll be gone by this arvo don't get your nickers in a knot" and she said "well you've been here a very long time....coz he'd been parked there for the passed 2 days...but oh's not even her property.

And Rhys said "well what do you want me to do..park on that big fucking rock there???" and she said "Exactly"....and kept going on about how we have no idea about responsibility....and I just couldn't beleive the whole was surreal....this was a fully grown lady....middle aged making war on us coz we were parking on the nature strip around the corner and down the road from her house. The nature strip which is owned by the council anyway is outside a vacant block of land it's not even outside her house!!!! And her house faces completely away from just wouldn't even associate it with her place!!!! And the lady across the road from it also park there with us....coz her driveway is dangerous to drive up....but she has been told many a time by this psycho!!!

And my poor dad who has gout has to park there.....otherwise he has to park on this little spot up the road which is up a hill and hard for him to get out coz his foot and leg are so sore it feels like burning oil inside them apparenlty....but she doesn't care!!! She wants that patch of grass to look a bit nicer.....GOD DAMN she should get her priorities right.....i seriously wouldn't care about the grass so much that i wanted to make war on everyone in the neighbourhood. And coz i just couldn't beleive what was happening I had to tell her that she seems like an angry little person with no life.....and she told me that she wasn't an angry person....and that she does have a life.

Yeah....but dad reckons she isn't all with it. He reckons she is from right wing America somewhere where it is their right to protect their property with a gun...and they are really into individual rights...and council property means nothing to her.

But I have emailed the council complaining about her and asking them for a formal print out of the nature strip ownership regulations, So I can show her next time. But dad said to watch out coz when he worked at Oberon last year he stopped for a pee driving somewhere and got chased off someone's property by a person with a riffle. And so he thinks that this woman may possibly have one...because it is posssible to aquire one and she would probably get herself one seeing as she was brought up in such a culture which believes in such customs and rituals and whatnot.

But yeah I was walking away from her not believing that she a middle aged woman who I had never met and that she approached us like thta and that she was so passionate and anal about it, and that she wanted to fight so much. And I kept yelling out "get a life" and she'd say "i have a life" and i'd say "yeah...what defending your lawn and announcing war with all of your boring sour puss!!!....You are way out of line" and she yelled "oh grow up"....grow up!!! can you believe that!!! But mum said "good on you Amelia....she can't do that....I am glad you told her off" And dad said "yeah you've treated the situation well...she can't go doing that....and you can't just give in to someone like just be careful that she doesn't completely snap and shoot u or the car or anything. But next time just show her the legal papers on the regulations and continue not to give into her."

But I think I should put contact numbers/advertisments for councilllors / therapists in her letterbox. And photo copy some of Girlosophy is full of motivational stuff....nice pictures and self help stuff sort of....just about know I'll teacher her how to get a life. "Self-love...the most important kind of love"...."Relax, go with the flow, be an easy rider, don't try and control things or they will often take the opposite direction"...."Are you encountering resistance?.....If you are trying to control something too much and you are finding resistance it is because it is the wrong path, the negative path." ...."Karma - what goes around comes around.....what you did yesterday will bear the fruit of today....everything you do....good or bad comes back - Multiplied" Etc etc.

But we also want to get everyone in the street to park along that bit she mows just to really piss her off!!! haahaha!! or get Rhys to just park in the mddle of the road outside her place and then get everyone in the street to make a traffic jam behind his car and all toot in the middle of the night to wake her up!!! hahaaha!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

So is this where i write???

Domison, my alien buddy, set this up for me as she felt it was her mission in life, after reading the message i left my boyfriend on facebook yesterday. The countless number of hours that Domison spent sitting next to me on the school bus over a period of 4 -5 years also inforced her belief that i have a fair bit to say.

THE MESSAGE I LEFT FOR RHYS YESTERDAY (18.11.2008): one write's on your you go....LOOK OUT!!!!

today when i got up i just had this mega urge to wippersnipper the backyard. So i got out of bed and put my PJ off and went out to the loungroom where i found Lol. And I said to him we have mow the lawn!! And he said"aw what!! you don't want to do that...why would you want to do that?" and i said "because poor old mummy dear needs a break...and when you don't have a lawn or any form of nature around you for over a year you suddenly appreciate any opportunity to low the morn. so can you please do that with me" and Lol begain to grumble and i cried "no but Lol you have to be my wingman..i need a wingman man" I also added "and we should do the dishes too" And Lol said "no but mum enjoys doing the dishes, she pretends she doesn't but she does." So I then asked Lol which knob makes the grill work, as i needed to toast the upperside of my english muffins. So Lol helped me out with that. he turned the temperate to....

...about 175 degrees C and I began to sort out the washing up. At any rate after quite the while I checked my English muffins and noticed that they just weren't getting browned rapidly enough. So I upped the temperate abut to 290 degrees C. They then became brown at well colossal speed. I took them out and put them on the bread board and proceeded to take the margarine off the vegemite jar and had a thought to myself about all the possible reasons for the margarine being placed on top of the vegemite jar when there was so much space surrounding on the bench. These possible reasons included: perhaps ants enjoy margarine, but dislike vegemite, so in the ant attack currently undergoing in this house, perhaps the vegemite jar acted as a moat so to speak; or perhaps someone believes that the margarine should be spread on to the toast or english muffin for instance, before the vegemite - so in an attempt to ensure the higher possibility of this occurring the margarine was placed on top of...

the vegemite jar; or perhaps it was some sort of post modern art symbolising the way in this day and age of obesity, fast food and excessive bad eating habits...the societies citizens piles fat upon salt and perhaps the fact that there wasnt a tread mill placed on top of this was infact intentional to also symbolise the lack of exercise.I also began to wonder how the heater works. There are porceline plates that heat up, but how do they do that and what is the function of the flame at the front??? I then thought how is there such a perfect mix of atoms that create the compounds that form water and air....why doesn't it become how there was a perfect mix of musicians that made up The Blue Belladonnas and then Mat was added and The Blue Belladonnas didn't actaully seem to work like The Blue Belladonnas anymore. What if a few more atoms of oxygen join the party in one group in the ocean....and it is no longer 2 part hydrogen 1 parts oxygen....would it still.... water if it was 2 part hydrogen and 4 part oxygen....i mean who organised that?? and how did they all know to stick to those little parties??? At this stage I realized I had not get gotten a knife to butter the english muffins and they were beginning to cool considerably. I turned towards the cutlery draw. Lol then interupted me and said "should I go and start the wipper snipper?" I exclaimed "we only have a wipper snipper...i thought we had a lawn mower....oh...must have been those goblins took em all...umm nah wait until I have started eating my muffin...I eat breakfast at unpredictable speeds...depending on the number of distractions." Lol replied "but it takes me ages to start the wipper snipper" he then went to open the shed realizing i had started my english muffin. I wanted to find some aviators to prevent grass coming in contact with my eyeballs at hight speed. I look on the second shelf of the tall grey cupboard near the side french doors, then in the first drawer of...

...the large wooden cabinet under the TV. I lifted the shoe polish but could not see any aviators. I began to think desperate thoughts such as "I may have to wear Lols mega geek prescription glasses for short sightedness in the left eye only...the ones that make me feel like I am wearing those beer goggles". I heard the engine of the wipper snipper finally starting up like a cat finally being sick. I went out onto the balcony and said "this is going to hurt isn't it??...Lol where are the aviators...or any glasses...and do u have a pair of tracky dacks." At this stage i was wearing little shorts and pressumed that the grass would sting as it hit my legs if i were to cut the grass with these shorts on. Lol found some sun glasses that may have been considered fashionable in some parts of the world such as jasons karate centre, and pulled out some navy blue tracky dacks with white stripes down the sides, he worned me before he presented them that they were no normal kind of tracky dack...

...but that they had an amount of lustre to them. Indead they were the shiney material kind. I took them into my bedroom and pulled my shorts over my shoes which were already tyded up in a triple knot. And slide the tracky daks on over my shoes. I looked at my white shoes for the last time, and made my way out to the back yard, pausing momentarily to give myself the thumbs up in the full length mirror on my bedroom cupboard. I then took the wipper snipper from Lol first holding the handle towards the front with my left hand and then swapping hands so that my right hand now held that handle. I gave it a good buzz and jumped back in temporary surprise. I started in the middle of the westily side of the lawn. I then made a relatively squiggley line up towards the peach tree. And stopped and said "I need a plan, a more organised way of going about this." I started at the very westily side of the lawn, at one point truthfully accidently cutting open a bag of sticks, althought I pretended...


Go go Power Rangers...
You know you want to ;)